To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them
Every day is a chance of making yourself better. Don’t settle when you can be more. Sudah la berada di takuk yg sama. Aslih nafsak, wad’u ghairak.
It’s 11.05 pm on a Monday night. Day 1 of Surgery block just ended, and it went smoothly enough. God’s thermostat has been flicked and the cold has kicked in. Trekked up to catch the bus to Newport this morning and noticed frost on all the cars and road. A cold day was followed up by a foggy night. We haven’t had fog in a long while. There’s something mysterious about fog. Part of it is because I rarely experience it, be it in Cardiff or Malaysia. The other part is I always seem to be thinking heavy thoughts whenever I happen to be walking in the fog. The soliloquy, influenced by the unnatural weather phenomenon, always seems to be a melancholic one.
This time I was walking back from doing laps at the pool. I was thinking about some verses from Surah al-Hadid which goes like this:
I thought about all the mistakes I made in my teen years before my “turning point” moment prior to entering college. Then I thought about the mistakes I still made after being granted a deeper appreciation of God’s mercy. I thought about the mistakes and sins I’m still making now. I thought about all the things that have seemed to go wrong these past few days. Possibly a test, possibly a punishment for my own bad deeds, possibly a medium to instigate this thought process in the first place.
You see, in fog, on a long day, coming home stressed out and in a foul mood, physically tired out from letting out angst, thinking about this can really make you want to hit your head really hard, repeatedly. Or cry. Or worse, give up. But this verse is about a garden whose width is like the width of heavens and earth that Allah gives as a bounty for those who race towards His forgiveness. To ask forgiveness implies having made a mistake, or mistakes. Hence, there is hope for sinners. Sometimes, thinking about the multitude of things that I did wrong can be so overwhelming that it drowns out the reality of of Al-‘Affuw (the Pardoner) and Al-Ghaffur (the All Forgiving). But that’s all permainan setan. In physical fog, or mental fog, got to believe in the power of an All Merciful God and the hope He inspires.
As part of our General Practice (GP) block, we had a day visit to a hospice in the Bro Morgannwg (Vale of Glamorgan) area. The aim was to get us acquainted with palliative care and see how a real life hospice works. The hospice itself was as lovely as one could wish a hospice to be with excellent services and top notch staff. The services would make you highly consider end-of-life in a hospice with aromatherapy and massage to alleviate pain, calming view of the sea and 24 hour staff. Basically, it’s like a hospital ward only much homier. Patients in the hospice are terminal and are usually on an end-of-life care pathway which is centered on pain and symptom relief.
After a tour of the hospice, I got assigned a patient who was diagnosed with gastric cancer in July, with extensive metastasis (spread), and was told she would only make it to September. The diagnosis was really the worst case scenario with the elements of : Sudden, Poor prognosis and Cancer. After 15 minutes I realized just how difficult it is to ask questions that might make a patient who is dying dwell on the circumstances of her death.
Later on, we had a session with the Oncology registrar. We had a discussion on career paths post medical school. There are basically 4 main paths: Academic, GP, Med/Surgical training or run-through programs (ObGyn, Paeds, radiology etc). The discussion took a turn for the serious and the soalan cepumas “How much does a doc in each speciality make?” came out pretty early. GP’s could make up to 250K pounds per annum while hospital doctors could make up to 60-70K if they trudge slowly up the career ladder and depending on how much responsibility they take on. The GP job was looking very attractive throughout the discussion with the fact that they can earn the highest pay and have the best work-life balance, so it was no wonder that most of the group were opting for it. Then we learnt about the competitiveness of each specialities with bottlenecks in training settled with the amount of research, effort, conference posters and interest shown from early on in medical school. The reg made it clear that there were not many spots per speciality and competition was tough with the rising number of graduates (heh masalah lambakan doktor ni bukan masalah kat Malaysia je rupanya)
Everyone left the room with the intention of working harder, determined to making it into the speciality of choice, nailing the high salary and living the good life befitting the hard years of toil and competition that is the medical career.
Premise 2:-
“Being pregnant is like having 1 foot in the grave.”
“Women say farewell to their children before they go into labour.”
“In UK, 1 in 5100 mums die in labour, while in Chad, it’s 1 in 11.”
In a global health talk on Maternal Mortality, we were served with some heart-wrenching facts about how mothers in countries like Chad, Liberia and Nigeria die on a daily basis while giving birth. The saddest part is, most of them die from hypertensive complications of haemorrhage post-partum, both which are very preventable with drugs that cost less than 1 pound.
The woman giving the talk was a Angela Gorman, a nurse who worked in the Neonatal ICU in UHW. She saw a documentary on BBC’s Panorama called “Dead Mums Don’t Cry”, which showcased the work of Dr Grace Kodindo’s efforts to save women in childbirth and their babies.
She was so horrified by what she saw in Chad, that she started a charity called Life for African Mothers and is committed to raising funds to help buy medication and improve the hospitals in Sub-Saharan Africa.
“Is giving birth the most dangerous thing an African woman can do? Without a doubt. If you add the fatalities from the Haitian earthquake in 2010 to those of the Asian tsunami in 2004, you still don’t reach the number of women who die as the result of pregnancy every year”
In Malaysia or the UK, being pregnant is a cause for celebration. Thinking about pregnancy makes me envision a baby’s gurgle, little fingers and toes, and a lot of love. No one really considers that the outcome after 9 months could be death.
What really made me ashamed of myself was the fact that:
1. I am a Muslim. The suffering of fellow Muslims or people anywhere should be something that I help with or at the very least spare a thought to.
2. I am a medical student. I learn about diseases, and maybe because I live in a country where the healthcare is really advanced that I’ve lost touch at what it’s like for people who don’t have the privilege of modern medicine that I learn about every day. It’s like I’m studying medicine in a parallel dimension, where I think about getting into a job that pays a ton and a great speciality that lets me roll in the dope, spend quality time with my family and live the life, when across the world there are actual doctors who are facing life and death scenarios and spend their time thinking about how to overcome odds like not enough money to buy meds or equipment.
Premise 1 & 2 sparked a few questions about the distinction between being realistic and being idealistic, and if the distinction between the two is the difference between a persons’ life.
Both women in premise 1 & premise 2 are dying. One on a hospital bed, at a good old age, with plenty of painkillers to numb the aches, surrounded by her loving family and every possible comfort. The other is probably still young, bleeding to death or fitting from eclampsia, leaving behind a baby who’s life will hang in the balance with her absence, and her death is probably the pinnacle of her life that is possibly full of hardships from poverty.
Like if I was just to be realistic and focus on the present circumstances in my life, if I just work to get a good paying job, I’d still be practicing Medicine, I’d still be making a difference in someone’s life, no?
Is it idealism to want to go somewhere where medical help is really needed, like Africa? In the back of my head, I can hear a voice that says, you have to get a good job, be financially stable, follow the conventional path of getting married and start a family, then donate to charitable causes, or perhaps do a stint of charity work somewhere, but don’t make that your life, because you’ll make no money from it. But if everyone did that, Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders) and Amnesty International wouldn’t exist.
This post isn’t going to end with a summary on the decisions and answers, because I don’t have them. I actually feel a bit unsure about how to address the mismatch between the 2 premises above. I want to do something about it with my life, but at the same time, I don’t know how to go about it. I feel a little shallow, especially when Angela mentioned some of the doctors she was working with to expand her work in Liberia, had recently died of Ebola.
Merawat masyarakat yg ramainya menghidapi penyakit kesan dari perbuatan sendiri eg pemakanan & merokok VS doktor yg menolong orang yg, rata-ratanya dalam kemiskinan dan begitu terdesak?
Hmm. Well this is just an outburst from the bowels of my brain. I shall ponder on this again, soon and return to my coursework now so that I can pass 3rd year and graduate and actually become a doctor.
Ps: Spare a prayer for all the mothers out there, because they literally, almost die trying to bring you into this life and figuratively, almost die trying to raise you in it.
In Arabic, my name means “One who is Grateful”. Sadly, this is quite far from the reality of my state of being.
Tu lah sek mung panggil aku Syak je sokmo…
I am quite whiny and I do tend to look on the more negative/ cynical side of life. I’m not a complete skeptic, but before I tread the path of that downward spiral, I thought I’d do something to intervene. The first step of recovery is acknowledging the existence of the problem, and the next would be establishing the root of the aforementioned problem. In my case, I think it’s the lack of gratefulness and contentment with the blessings Allah has bestowed on this wretched slave. I tend to focus on the things that don’t go my way, rather than be thankful for the beautiful things in my life that did. I do take plenty of things, people, experiences and health for granted and I think I do that very blatantly.
In my opinion, ingratitude breeds discontent which gives birth to jealousy who is the second cousin of unhappiness. Basically, it opens up many doors to other sins and prevents an appreciation of His endless mercy.
Simply, it means trouble la.
Hence, I aim to post things that I should be grateful for and appreciate more. I know it’s not on any scale close to all the blessings that Allah the Merciful has granted me, but I hope by sticking it up here makes a lasting reminder for meself and who knows, blogwalkers out there too.
This campaign is great, really makes you look closer instead of just and quick stereotypical glance
(Source: GSR Entrance Hall System, http://www.spr.com.br/)
Stereotypes: We have done it before, and perhaps had it thrust on us as well.
Living in the UK, inadvertently this is wont to happen.
Wearing a headscarf, people have stereotyped me as oppressed, backward and sometimes speak really slowly to me because they assume I don’t really understand English.
But, I’m not guilt-free as well. Sometimes I stereotype patients who walk in the door based on their illnesses or snippets of the history that I hear. Like automatically assuming a Hep C patient is promiscuous or that all overweight people lead unhealthy lifestyles (they could just have hypothyroidism).
In med school, we’re taught to prototype instead of stereotype: According to the prototype theory, certain features of a category have equal status, and thus, examples that represent all or most of those features become the prototype for that category. Items that do not share the majority of these features may still belong to that category, but do not represent the prototype. (wiseGeek et al)
Means you can associate certain features to something but make exceptions that they might not come in that form. Like cats. All of them have features like fur, tails and cute little paws. But you’ve got Sphinx breeds that don’t have fur, or the ‘ekor kontot’ species who don’t have tails, but that does not mean they aren’t cats?
I can sometimes forgive people who stereotype like people of a different nationality, culture or religion because they don’t have a lot of information about you to go on, hence they stereotype. What I find more dangerous/damaging/hurtful stereotypes from those who already have the means to revise their own stereotypes, but sadly, they don’t. The ones I’ve encountered before include:
1) Budak KL sosial. Rosak akhlak.
2) Budak ni speaking aje, mesti bajet.
3) Dia free hair, dia tak berminat kot dengan ceramah agama.
4) Orang Cina nak jatuhkan Melayu.
5) Orang Kristian jahat. Tak boleh kawan dengan dorg nanti dia bagi kita holy water, pastu kita jadi Kristian pulak.
6) Semua makanan yang dihidang dengan cantik dan dihias cantik2, confirm sedap.
Ok that last one, is something everyone assumes kan. Even food gets stereotyped. But really, it’s very unfair to assume everything/ everyone who has similar characteristics are the same or act the same.
So here are some steps to positively change your stereotypes, courtesy of Manchesters’ Student Booklet on Stereotyping & Military Spouse.
1. Realization
The first step necessary to stop stereotyping is realizing that we are in fact stereotyping and admitting that we are at fault.
2. Conscience Effort
A conscience effort must then be made to catch ourselves when we stereotype and tell ourselves that what we are doing is wrong. Ask yourself, “Why did I just have that reaction? What is it that is truly bothering me about him/her?” Try to reframe what you’re thinking about them.
3. Vocalize Change
We then need to vocalize the change in our thinking to our peers. This will help to reduce the amount of stereotyping our
peers do around us, which helps to reduce or eliminate the stereotyping we perform.
4. Educate Others
Finally, once we are comfortable with our change, we need to educate about stereotyping, its negative effects, and the reasons for stopping the stereotyping trend. Hopefully, this starts the first step, realization, for the people we educate.
5. Let People In
Get to know them! If you are wondering about that neighbor that seems a bit out of sorts and perhaps unkempt, go say hello. Don’t assume that they are troublesome or have issues. Give them a shot! You could end up with a great friend! I used to be really intimidated by this one girl because I assumed that people who wore tudung labuh & came from sekolah agama were all uber religious and would not want to be friends with me, but it turns out that she’s such a gem and we can get along very well.
6. Focus on the Positive
When you see something in someone that causes you to make an automatic assumption about them, take a moment, catch yourself, and think POSITIVE. Find something about him or her that is wonderful! This is actually much easier than you think and you don’t have to go far. There was an individual who I assumed was just a crank all the time but it turns out she just had family problems and thought about her family back home a lot. She would call her little brothers & sisters and help them with their school work on a weekly basis.
7. Examine your Motivations
This is a tough one. We’re not saying go out tomorrow and sit on a couch talking to a therapist about your childhood Just think about why you may be making these assumptions about others. Do they remind you of someone? Are they doing something you would want to do, or something that you are morally against? What is it that bothers you about them? After all, you are you . . . and they, well . . . are themselves. We are all different. Some people may do/ believe something that goes against the very pillars of your existence, but don’t hate on them just for this. Personally I find this very difficult. Being a debater once upon a time, I sometimes have this urge to convince everyone to see things from my point of view (POIs and rebuttals included). Like discussions with people who aren’t convinced in God’s existence, Darwin supporters or Malay supremacists really know how to bring out the worst in me.
At the end of the day. the concept of husnuzon (positive thinking/ bersangka baik) is really a beautiful one. Make excuses for how people behave, a vlogger recommends making 10 for each person you are tempted to stereotype. So let’s experiment with this, shall we?
Ps: I iz not bald under my headscarf. I haz no idea where this idea came from.
Strength doesn’t come from holding up your corner all alone.
It comes from praying to Al-Qawiyy (The Powerful) to grant you the strength to pull through. It comes from fully trusting that this is all in His plan.
It comes from knowing that as soon as your forehead touches the floor, you don’t have to keep up a strong front. You can just let it all out and He’s there. All the misgivings, failed responsibilities, mistakes, uncertainties, questions that you couldn’t answer, time wasted, stress from unfinished work, He’s there. He knows.
It comes from just taking one step back, remembering all the reasons why you do what you do. The reassurance that He’s aware of all your little struggles and that if done for the right reasons, will be counted for you on the day of Reckoning.
It comes from knowing that, after a 7pm finish at the GP surgery, there is a group of people who will welcome you into their arms, and feed your body and soul exactly what you need.
It’s from the calls from family. The ones who are always rooting for you.
It comes from a comforting text from friends who aren’t physically there, but you know that they keep you in their prayers like you do for them.
“The world is difficult, it is a struggle; but it’s the struggle that makes us stronger and brings us closer to our Lord.”
— Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
Mode: Dengar Opick- Maha Pemurah sambil buat report / beli tiket flight / usha material utk tutorial.
Solace 
